Why Octopuses?

The mind of an octopus is a curious thing

Because they’re aliens.

Not actual aliens though, because the fossil record traces their ancient origins back almost 500 million years. They have three hearts and blue blood and can change the color and texture of their skin into the most amazing camouflage. Their brains are wrapped around their throats and two thirds of their neurons are distributed among their eight arms, effectively giving them nine brains. Plus they’re smart, wicked smart. And clever. And opinionated.

Octopuses are the closest thing we have to an alien intelligence here on Earth.

Sure, dogs are intelligent, as are dolphins, pigs, goats, cats (although in a weird way), and many others. Our fellow mammals guided by mammalian structure. Reptiles are not very smart, but their cousins the corvids (crows, ravens, jays) and parrots are very smart, able to solve problems and hold grudges. 

So why do we humans basically run the world? Because we have calculating brains and opposable thumbs. But octopuses have calculating brains as well, and they may not have thumbs but they have tentacles (“arms” to be absolutely scientific, but we’ll use “tentacles” to differentiate between the articulated limbs) and can do pretty much anything a human can. More in some cases.

If they’re so intelligent, why don’t octopuses rule the world? Two main reasons: 1) Fire. Taming fire is the beginning of civilization. Fire warms, wards off predators, and expands dietary parameters. With fire you can smelt metals and control of metals is the beginning of technology. Octopuses live underwater. 'Nuff said. 2) Lifespan. Most octopuses live twelve to eighteen months or so. That’s a pretty short life span. Consider that at eighteen months a human is still developing coordination and cognition and is barely beginning to speak, whereas an octopus’s intelligence has already ripened and blossomed.

The Giant Pacific Octopus, the longest-lived of the non-benthic cephalopods, lives four years, occasionally five. If they lived longer, who knows what they would be capable of. This is addressed in depth in my octopus adventure novel Eight Arms To Hold Me, available through any online retailer or orderable at your favorite bookstore. Go to planetmertz.com to read the first fifty pages.

Planet Mertz will have a table in the Dealers Room at the World Science Fiction Convention in Anaheim, California, August 27 - 31. Come by and meet me, Joshua Mertz, and pick up a copy of Eight Arms To Hold Me, the exciting tale of Oliver, the most intelligent octopus on Earth. Other books from the Mysterious Mind of Mertz will also be available.